dun dun duuuunnnnn  (doomed tune)

Yeaaaa I’m on to yooous. Lookin all cute with your different color American Apparel zip-up hoodies, nice jeans, and casual shoes (which are usually converse chucks). A style that screams “I look good and I might be a cuddler, because I look so comfy, but I’m not trying too hard to be so I might be a bad boy too”. Mmmm Hmmm, that stilo is perfecto. And it might be summer time now, but I don’t forget! And I’ll be ready for you when Fall and Winter strikes again.

That damn hoodie makes any dude look like they have some effortless style. And it might be magical (or I might be trippin), but it also makes them look like they have this ideal physique underneath that 100% cotton of goodness. The hoodie does for guys what scrunch bottom swimsuits have done for girls. Shit is revolutionary! Otayy maybe I won’t go that far with it, but on a side note the scrunch bottom bikinis were mos def revolutionary for flat booty beezys everywhere.

The zip-up adds the perfect amount of character to any outfit: over a dress shirt keeps it preppy or hipster, under a leather jacket keeps it scrumptious.. I mean edgy, and it by itself with a plain T just keeps it a little gangster. It’s so versatile, which is my personal style so I love it. But just like hats as I talked about in my post Hats Off To You Handsome, ladies gotta beware.

The way I see it, its like a cape! You gotta see him without it on to see if he still does it for ya. Let’s be honest, of course Super Man looks scrumptious, but Clark Cent ain’t that poppin. He doesn’t look like he can save noooobody if he can’t even save his own style.

Now, I really doubt that guys know how much they are getting away with when they put on this hoodie, but the truth is this staple garment is pretty mesmerizing. I just kinda wanna know if a dude can hold their own and is actually appealing without this cape and maybe has some genuine style.

Maybe I let dudes know a little too much about their American Apparel hoodie being a girl’s kryptonite, but equally I’m letting girls know that they’ve been being fooled and to beware. You have to make sure the connection will outlast the softness of a brand new hoodie.. it only takes a few washes.

Alright.. carry on. And remember: Dont be shy to be fly

Mucho Love

Juelzy G.

We all know I hate awkward moments and the moment that never fails to get me with the awkwardness is when The Rose Lady walks into the spot. I don’t know exactly where you are sitting reading this right now, but I live in Hollywood and what we got here are these ladies that walk around at night hittin up every restaurant and club lookin for couples. You can be a group of girls and they’re still comin up askin if you wanna buy a rose. They don’t discriminate, they’re on their hustle to say the least.

They prey on the awkwardness of couples on their first date and the prides of dudes standing in line for valet. I mean, these ladies are vicious with it!

And I swear all in a relationship can be determined by these damn rose ladies.

Like, you wanna know how a guy feels about you? Go out to the club or dinner around Hollywood Blvd, then afterwards walk by one of the rose ladies. If he juss told the lady “nah… its cool.. we dont need roses” then chances are he’s really not feelin you on a girlfriend type of level. Now you gotta pretend like you were allergic to them thangs anyways so you don’t look like a total idiot and hopefully avoid an awkward moment. And if he declined, because he didn’t have any cash on hand then you should still hit him with the “ ahh-choooo!” because if you’re a female and an avid reader of my blog, you know we’re allergic to them broke/cheap dudes too.

Imma take a quick moment and elaborate/clarify on that last comment: we are allergic to broke/cheap dudes. But If he’s legitimately on his hustle, then ok. But we don’t need to be on OUR grind and dealing with dead wait. Anyone should agree with that dose of realness.

Anyways, back to The Rose Lady…

Even if he didn’t have $5, or how ever much they are, he could have played it off and at least asked you if you wanted one. I don’t know any girl that would be like, “yes!.. please buy me one!” most likely, if she’s genuine, she’ll play modest and say “its ok.” But at least he saved face and didn’t look like a complete ass who was only after the ass. Like, I’m not worth a damn flower to you? Where the hell is the romance?

You all know I’m old skool so I appreciate things like flowers. And I feel like no body really thinks to buy them anymore… in the dating scene anyways.

I’ve been hit with the emoticon flowers via text message a few times. My response recently was: “is that some 2012 shit I should know about?..Are guys not gonna be buyin flowers for a girl anymore? Like is that the new shit I should be getting used to? Some virtual flowers?” If that’s the case then you fellas should start gettin used to some virtual ass too. A make out session via text message or sumthin. Trust me, I’m sure they have the emoticon for it.

This is why I’m beginning to hate text messaging more and more. Like, people are already getting to second base damn near because of sexting before their first date! I cant take this… I’m a romantic! And these damn emoticons are killin the romance. Well not really…. WE are, actually.

Trust me, even I’ve been slippin on these ideals, but personally it’s not too late for me to change them back. Imma try and bring the romance back at least with my encounters. And truth of the matter is, it’s about the principle, not just some flowers. Shiet I remember what Alicia said, I don’t need a dozen roses to show I’m worth it, but I do need a little romance and thoughtfulness to counter my own. And if who ever I’m talkin to can’t understand that, then they’re probably not worth my time. After all, I am the who decides how I want to be treated.

On a final note, getting flowers on regular day, in other words, not a birthday or anniversary, is one of the best feelings for a girl in my opinion. And if you’re a guy and you’re smart, then you’d get wit it. I mean, unless you don’t like….. never mind.

Mucho Love,

Juelzy G.

Ps.

No Bueno tho

[I dedicate this post to my girl Cami]

Cool chicks are always getting the short end of the sticks when it comes to guys and their relationships with them. Shall I elaborate? I shall! Well lookey.. the story goes like this:

You got a cool chick. And by cool chick I mean a girl that’s not holdin on to a dudes nuts, that’s not drama, that’s not all up in his biz-nazz. A girl who’s got her own shit brewin and her own deals goin on. Therefore, she doesn’t have patience for the petty ish that comes with a “relationship” of which ever kind of relationship you want to speak of.

She’s mostly juss playin things cool with whatever guy she’s involved with. Like yo… you wanna be “friends?” Cool let’s juss be “friends”.. You wanna “hang out?” Cool let’s “hang out”… You wanna “fool around?” Ya that’s sounds good, let’s “fool around.” Whatever the deal is.. if she wants to do it… she’s gonna do it. Bottom line she’s doin whatever SHE wants to do. She’s not sweatin on titles. She’s not sweatin on rules. She’s not sweatin anything else you maybe have goin on. It’s not a damn thing, because she’s juss a cool chick. Cool… calm… and collected.

This is a dream girl for ANY guy in my eyes. Especially a guy that considers himself a player in the dating game. But this is where the shit gets messed up. When dudes have a girl like this, this cooooool chick, they don’t even know what to do with her. Guys SWEAR this is their dream girl, but that’s definitely NOT the case. And guess what they prefer….???.. that’s right..THE DRAMA CHICK.

And for all of you guys thinking “BULLSHIT” then you’d better recognize. Think about it. When it comes to your cool chick, for some reason you always think that it’s HER that’s catching feelings and such. This is brand new news to her, because in reality she couldn’t give two shits. Like I mentioned, she’s got bigger fish to fry and the relationship you guys got goin on is considered gold fish status. What really happened is that your side/drama chick is in fact causin too much drama.

This beezy went and pissed on you and now your balls are hers. So she does what all drama chicks do: Call you off the hook, stalk your Facebook, call you out on bullshit, chase away other chicks, always want you around, and basically always needing your help and attention. And as a guy, you like this. No matter how much you think you want the cool chick that doesn’t hassle you about commitment, you in fact, like to feel wanted and needed. Yo.. aint’ no body judging you because truth be told, we all want that. Besides, it’s not like you chose her over your cool chick, to the contrary, she chose you… sucka.

The only problem is, I can’t bring myself to be that despy-chick, and neither can any other cool chick. But like I said, everyone wants to feel wanted and needed so in turn, we get the short end of the stick when it comes to relationships.

I juss want to rest easy, let things flow, let things develop…. you know? Naturally and calmly. The problem is you give a guy too long of a leash and he finds himself a yappy ass Chihuahua and he happens to like the fact that she’s pissing on his leg every five seconds. Well damn! If that’s what I gotta do then count me out. But it blows my mind when guys accuse a cool chick of being this; this yappy, pissing chihuahua. Talk about a selective perception. Dudes gotta be straight hallucinating to mistake me with one of those.

Like, get back to me when you’re ready to talk to a real bitch. And you guys already know how I feel about that word. This is the perfect context and I am not referring to myself as a female dog. Because those pussy ass Chihuahuas don’t got ish on a real bitch.

Obviously I’m always simply here to help. And I juss want to make sure you guys know what’s up in case you ever find yourself in a relationship with one of these cool chicks. If you want to get pissed on, then quit pretending that you’re a commitment-phobe. As a cool chick I’m thinkin; ‘if you wanted a relationship, then why didn’t you say so?!!! I maybe wouldn’t mind being your girl, but at the same time I’m not stressin over it. Because truth be told, I’m not the type to ever initiate one,’

The cool chick is a wallflower in the relationship while other beezys are breakin it down on the dance floor. I can break it down too! Shit I can dance in circles around these broads if I really wanted to, but I was juss tryin to be cool and chill, that two-step shit. That’s what guys claim they want, because trust me I listen, but actions speak louder than words and they’re showin they like the drama.

Hold up…Lightbulb moment: I think I figured out the problem with the “cool chicks.” Ya we do what we want when we want. We don’t trip if you call us or if you don’t call us. Either way we’re always good. We fuck up though, because it seems like we’re too available. Like we’re at a mofo’s beck and call. Because they don’t see the fact that we’re goin to the movies or dinner and talkin with some other idiot when they don’t call us. But when they do hit us up, we immediately hang out if we’re not busy.

Goes back to the games needed to be played. Like, sorry I should have marked in my calendar when the last day I saw you was and allowed a minimum of a week to go by the next time I talked to you and shit. (I don’t play games so I can only imagine this is one of the rules). Or like, I answered your phone call last time you called so this time I’m only gonna text back….  …  ….Get the eff outta here with that ish!

Im soo not bout it.

I think ultimately I juss want someone to come correct. If Imma play the “cool chick” with you then you’re obviously not serious ‘boo’ material. Because a serious ‘boo’ will have serious game.. Like “look girl.. I’m tryin to talk to you straight up” Boom! Suddenly I’m not “cool” or “drama”… Im juss Juelz.

If you’re a guy and got distracted by a drama chick, it never fails you’ll always go crawlin back to the cool chick. I suggest you make it an ‘all or nothin’ deal with your cool chick because it’s only a matter of time that a real dude comes and swoops her from your clutch. After all, she’s only chillin until the next best thing… or it could be you.

Mucho Love,

Juelzy G.

P.S.

How cool?… we’re ice cold

So today is Ash Wednesday and I thought I’d take a little minute and speak on it real quick. This basically means lent is starting in the Catholic religion. And even though I was raised Catholic, I mostly consider myself simply “spiritual” versus “religious.” I do. however, still go to a Catholic church almost every Sunday. I go to hear a positive message and have some one-on-one time with God. I don’t go to hear about any church politics. I could do this at any church, temple etc. since they all originally had the same message. But since I’m comfortable with a Catholic church, that’s the one I choose to go to.

People… can I just express to you how much I love the state of california right now?! Ponder with me, yes?! Ok. First let me mention that I feel very entitled to talk about this because I can get an overall aspect of Cali given that I was raised in The Bay and now reside in LA ( yea I meant it to rhyme). I couldn’t be more proud to be a Cali girl, because I simply love this state!

Firstly, let’s talk about the weather and geographical location. All you other states can kiss our assssss when it comes to weather. Our weather shits on every other place in this nation. California is the only state worth visiting that you can literally go surfing in the morning go on dune buggies in the afternoon then go to the snow in the evening. I mean you’ll be tired, but I’m sayin, it can be done. Our winters aren’t too harsh and our summers aren’t too miserable. We have forests, orchards, farmland, lakes, rivers, mountains, oceans, sand dunes, what more could you want??! I’ll tell you….nothin!

Secondly, I love the diversity between people. You can get a little bit of everything here. There’s no doubt in my mind that you can find a trace of every culture in the world presented some where in California.

Living in The Bay there was so much interracial mixing it wasn’t even funny. I remember a picture of my 6th birthday party and all the neighborhood kids were gathered around my kitchen table while I blew out my birthday candles. You would have thought it was a meeting between the United Nations. I had Asians, Whites, Blacks, Mexicans and Lord knows what else all at one table all from one street in my neighborhood.

I don’t know how many little China Towns, Little Italy’s, Little Armenia’s and so many other of those little towns I pass on the freeway. Seems like there’s one every other exit. All this means is that we have some of the best food as well. Obviously we’re challenged by other states that are able to specialize since there’s a large concentration of one race, but we definitely win on the diversity tip. Like, I would not eat Mexican food in New York, I can only stick to Italian.

Also, Cali politics are one of the best you could ask for living in this country. Like this is the only state you can puff on a blunt and blow the smoke in front of a cops face and only get a fine as long as your weed possession is under the ‘legal’ limit. Well, you might get a little jail time for doin all that, but I’m sayin, it’s a slap on the wrist compared to a state like Texas for instance.

Our governor is a damn actor for crying out loud… only in Cali. And Arnold Schwarzenegger didn’t even try to fake the funk. Straight up, he said he inhaled. Anything can happen in Cali if an Austrian immigrant turned bodybuilder turned actor can become governor and then have the nerve to be a Republican and then also try and impose harsh immigrant laws. No wonder so many flock here from all over.

We’re a liberal kind of state and I think we’re one of the only states with a little bit of sense left. So many states and their people are brain washed and don’t bother asking questions. Im glad to know that if some shit is off, you can still see protests here like they often did back in the day when they used to burn their bras and all that jazz.

Enough bout that.. can we talk about the music?! Shiet.. even east coast king Biggie Smalls wanted to come back to Cali Cali. Now I grew up on a bunch of west coast rap from the Bay and L.A alike: West Side Connection, E-40, Eazy-E, Too Short, and Snoop Dogg often woke me up, took me to school and put me to bed as a kid. That’s juss the rap aspect of Cali music, because they prominently represent Cali publicly. But you can find musicians from every genre that are from Cali.

But can I say somethin real quick?…fuck Katy Perry!.. she needs to take her florescent cartoon ass self else where. Maybe Kentucky or some lame place like that. I’m ashamed of her song California Gurls. How dare she compare that song up against Jay-Z and Alicia Keys’ Empire State of Mind. Like are you serious?! I don’t like dissing artists, but that shit was embarrassing and I don’t feel like she represented Cali and it’s “gurls” like she should have. And even if she did in her own way, it was wrong of her to compare it to Empire State of Mind. They’re not even on the same level.

Well anyways, lastly I love that we have so many dope cities like Los Angeles and San Francisco. Bright lights and sky scrapers make me giddy and there’s so many cities to choose from in Cali. There’s so many people hustlin and bustlin tryin to make their California-cation dreams come true. Everyone’s alive here, not juss on some work horse/hamster wheel hype.

And the nightlife is crazy as well. In Cali “you’ll never find a dance floor empty.” I’ve partied in many cities in my life, and their aint no party like a West Coast party. That’s all imma say about that.

It’s the place where you can escape from anything, because there’s so much of everything. So whether you’re juss passin through or you’re here to say or you’ve been here from the beginning… I suggest you appreciate what Cali has to offer. Take advantage but don’t abuse it. We have our own attitudes, so if you don’t like it, then you can kick rocks!

Cali will always have my heart. It is home and I wouldn’t want to say I’m from any where else. Proud of my Cali roots! I may love to travel and all that good stuff… but I’ll always go back to Cali.. Cali.

Mucho Love,

Juelzy G.

P.S

You knoooo

All I want to know is… WHAT THE HOLY HELL IS GOIN ON OUT THERE?! Soooo… This is kind of a difficult topic for me, but I feel I gotta speak on it. Guys just think it’s waaaay too easy to get the goodies now-a-days, and that’s probably because… it is! Like shit, I don’t even blame them judging by what I see and hear. The other day one of my homies told me girls be fuckin for free drinks in the VIP and a bacon wrapped hot dog, or LA street meat/ danger dogs, like we like to call it over here in Hollyweird. Well damn! Is that really what I’m up against?! Truth be told, I wouldn’t want to be with whatever guy those girls were with anyways. But at the same time I feel like even the good ones have this mentality now: that the goods are o-so easy to get from ALL girls.

Call me old school, which I often do, but this is juss not how things work in my mind. Like, is that what it’s really like in the dating world?: Where you have to give up the goods first in order to seal an “official” title? Like, mofo you haven’t even bought me a MEAL, you don’t even know how many siblings I have, or what my real hair color is, and you already feel entitled to these goodies?! What happened to really getting to know the person first, having a title and then, if things hold true down the road a few months to what you thought, then “consummate” the relationship. One time a guy told me “you have to test drive the car before you buy it.” I simply replied that if that’s the case then he “needs to go to a Nissan dealership, because everyone knows a Bentley rides well.” I don’t care what kind of denial you’re in, but there are ALWAYS some kind of feelings and emotions associated with sex. And if I know I can’t trust you with those, then aint nothin goin down.

Part of me can’t blame a guy for trying, because I’d be naive to think that sex isn’t the first thing on his mind. But I don’t see the respect in them asking in the first place; especially when we don’t even know each other that well. And thats my number one thing in a relationship: Respect. That’s what it should be in any relationship. Think about it. Every aspect of a relationship can be traced back to respect: If you respect me then there’s trust; I know you will not do anything intentionally to hurt me. If you respect me then there’s communication; I know you care about what I have to say. If you respect me then there’s loyalty; I know that you will be there for me no matter what.

I can’t really speak on what anyone else thinks the dating game consists of, but the way I see it is like this: The guys are basically trying to get the goods. However, there are some that are actually genuine and my job is to figure out which ones are and get rid of the ones that aren’t without getting hurt in the process. But I aint even gonna lie, like every other game, sometimes you win some and sometimes you lose some.

During this game some people say ‘fuck it’ and let it be known that they’re not looking for anything serious. I see it’s a lot easier for guys to do this. Some girls can juke their emotions enough to do this as well, but they’re the first to get labeled as whores and such. I think this is a big front anyways…like Lauryn said ”don’t be a hard rock when you really are a gem.” I don’t care how much of a feminist you are or what other culture you come from, because as a whole society, we’re juss not there yet. And you WILL be labeled a slutty girl. Whether this is something you’re willing to deal with is a personal decision.

“word spreads fast that your knees spread quick”

I really don’t think sex is this thing thats going to condemn everyone to hell or anything like that and you guys all know by now it’s not like me to judge anyone. I mostly just think its about the respect. Call it selfish.. please! But I have to make sure that the other person respects me before, during and after. And if you give in to the heat of the moment then you better be able to deal with whatever consequences come from it as well. Don’t act surprised when he doesn’t call you back. After all, it was a one-night-stand!

Its true, sometimes you hear of those crazy situations that actually end with a successful relationship, but those are considered very lucky scenarios. Something I heard a few times and I couldn’t agree more with is: as a girl, sex is the best compliment you can give to a guy. And at the end of the day, if you know you’re worth, this is what it is. So let’s hold on to the goods, ya ladies?! Because to be real, some of you floozies are makin it hard for a girl to be good out there. They’re lookin at me like I’m the crazy one or a liar, when really that’s not the case and I refuse to feel that way.

And guys, ugh! You know what’s up. You don’t want girls to think all guys are the same and we don’t want you to think all girls are the same. Don’t get it twisted. Realize who you’re talkin to. And check yourselves before you wreck yourselves. (Told you I was old school).

Mucho Love,

Juelzy G.

P.S.

See?! And thats why she’s my girl. I love me some Ci Ci…She gets me! Judging by her song I think Ciara understands my views on this subject. I actually got the opportunity yesterday to have someone relay the message to her that I appreciate her positive lyrics. She was grateful and I hope she keeps creating more like it.

Oooo Valentine’s Day. The joys you bring every year. The birds are chirpin… the bees are buzzin. And I have to listen to all my single girlfriends get absolutely depressed, because they are reminded that they are indeed single. As if they didn’t realize it all of the other 364 days they were single as well since last year. I have to listen to my non-single girlfriends stress about what to get their boo judging by the amount of time they’ve been together. And their confusion as to what their guy is going to get them. But the worst thing I hate dealing with around this time is the way even single guys FREAKS THE EFF OUT during this time.

It’s like waaaay too much pressure for them or something. Single girls know what I’m talkin about. And you guys know too, so guess what…WE NOTICE! Yea, you’re not so slick. The story goes: you just recently met a guy, let’s say in December or January, and you’ve been talkin on the phone and such since. This is the “oh, we’re juss talkin stage” not necessarily the “we’re dating stage.” And then soon as February comes around and he starts noticing all those pink and red decorations at Target, and starts to say “oh shit.”

The calls come less frequently, then on the actual day of, you don’t hear SHIT from him. Then the next day he tries to pick up where he left off, but you’re in for a surprise patna’! Its really kinda funny actually, this crap cracks me up! It’s so unnecessary to put soo much sauce on nothing. But the fact that you freaked out about it makes it much easier to cut you loose. I want a guy who’s cool, calm and collected, you feel me? Like, I don’t need you to tell me you love me and stuff, but maybe a “happy valentines day” text would be sufficient. This juss shows you’re not a complete little bitch and you can handle awkward situations.

Which is basically what Valentine’s Day is, a big ass awkward situation. And can I take this moment to tell you guys how I feel about awkward situations?….I HATE AWKWARD SITUATIONS. They are sooo uncomfortable and I will do everything in my power to revive one. I will search for every witty remark in my head in order to save a moment that has turned awkward. The feeling awkwardness sends through my body is not a pleasant one and that shit gives me anxiety! So please, don’t be awkward around me. Thank youuu. Ok back to doom’s day… I mean V-day.

I think we can take on this propaganda filled day as a society if everyone juss took an effin chill pill! You were single yesterday and you’re still single today. There’s no need to be bitter. Hell, I still went to Victoria’s Secret and got myself a new thong. Just because I don’t have a valentine doesn’t mean I have to walk around that day with some granny panties. I bought myself a new perfume too. Thanks Valentine! Also known as Juelz! I loved it… it was EXACTLY what I wanted!

And If you have a boo then yesterday was also the same as today. But I aint even gonna lie. I HATE PDA and this day in particular brings out the worst in people when it comes to kissing and hugging and BLAHHHH! Sorry I get nauseous…I have a really weak stomach. Honestly, it’s not that I’m a hater or something. I juss really don’t want to see two people all over each other, because all I do is get weird mental pictures of you two having sex. Thats what PDA does and it is NOT cute to me. It’s another awkward situation.

So since I’m not a bitter broad I can make a suggestion for you girls that do have a boo this v-day. Girls I don’t think you can go wrong with a trip to Victoria’s Secret and some really nice cologne. I mean, I’m digging waaay back in my memory bank since its been a while, but I remember buying specifically Georgio Armani cologne. MMmmm mm this scent is o-so scrumptious. I used to swear anything that smelled like it was edible. And from what I know, other girls feel the same way. It’s kinda ironic actually that most ‘guy gifts’ are actually for the girls. Whatever, you both win in the end I’m sure.

The other guys that also urk me are the ones that purposely let it be known that they’re going to wait until after Valentine’s Day to pursue a certain girl so that it doesn’t hurt their bank. To that I say…you cheap asses! I’m personally a sucker for romance and nothing says romance more than pure thoughtfulness. I don’t think guys understand this: it’s not about how much money you put into something, it’s about the amount of thought you put into it. Trust me!

For instance, if you mindlessly take her to dinner for v-day, because that’s what you’re supposed to do, then you’ll most likely get a ‘thank you’ and ‘good night’ at the end of your date. But if you take her to that one restaurant she happened to mention that one time … you know which one I’m talkin about. That one that she was talkin about on a random tuesday?! Well that’s the one where you might juss get a ‘thank you’ and ‘good morning.’ I’m juss sayin, the relationship will most likely last longer if you make it more personal.

My solution for the rest of us singles: LETS ALL GO TO VEGAS! Think about it… this is possibly the best place to go on such an awkward day. It’s the one place thats the epitome of what single on Valentine’s Day should be. Im sure I’m not the only genius who’s figured this out, but that’s what will make that day in Vegas so much better. A bunch of singles flocking to one place. Of course, I’m sure there will still be a lot of PDA going on, but at least I know I won’t be sober enough to give damn. If I’m nauseated it won’t be due to hugs and kisses if you know what I mean. It’s either this or nothin’! If you’re a girl I don’t want to hear about you and your girlies sending each other crap. Stop it…that’s some middle school mess. Let’s juss enjoy being single. You weren’t complaining last week when you made out with that random at the bar right?!

Just enjoy the day for what it’s worth. This day was dedicated to simply celebrate love. Not to cause anxiety, depression or bitterness. Everyone let your minds rest easy and juss take this day to express the way you feel about your boo or your friends and family. There’s nothing I love more than Love and I hope you guys know that I love all of you! Why do you guys think I sign my name with this every time?:

Mucho Love,

Juelzy G.

P.S.

I loves this song. And I think it’s kinda in the middle of singles and couples. Ok maybe not completely, but I tried!

Oh you fancy huh?.. nah for real…I’m really asking.. and the answer will most likely be, NO. Most of you beezys out there know you have no right to be singing along to this song, but yet you do it anyways and it urkes me o-so much.

Ya maybe you have your nails done, hair done and everything big…but how did you pay for that? Chances are you spent you’re whole paycheck on it or had someone else buy it for you. I see and know of way too many girls that have no business singing that song, but they’re the first to wave their hand in the air at their supposed haters. These girls have no goals, no ambition and they’re stuck at their dead-end, part-time jobs. They’re living off of mommy and daddy. And some are straight wife training hoping to just get boo’d up by someone.

I aint’ even gonna lie, this shit literally BLOWS my mind. I don’t know how girls can go through life like this. You guys know I stay positive on this thing so I’m not trying to judge anyone, but I just sincerely don’t understand. I simply wasn’t raised with this mentality so you can say I have a bias about it. I feel as though independence holds high on my list of values and I feel the need to empower some of you.

You ladies need to get your own shit first before you go out lookin’ to get wifed up. Do you beezys even have anything to offer? Because let me tell you in case you don’t already know: looks fade! You heard Kanye…”it all falls down!” He was talking about your once perky titties. No not exactly, but he is implying that you beezys gotta be able to offer something to yourselves first. I know guys like to be the providers and take care of girls, but that’s not to say they won’t get fed up with your lazy ass mentality eventually.

Let’s say you do get some idiot to wife you up. First off, he’s actually not such an idiot because he pretty much has you by the balls for the rest of your lives together, which makes you the idiot. He may only be an idiot if he didn’t get that prenup and lets face it, they’re alllll gettin prenups now. Kanye also let them know on his “gold-digger” song, so trust me they’ve learned their lessons. Like did you not see the movie, Diary of a Mad Black Woman? That bitch got dragged out of her big ass house by her husband as his new, younger, prettier bitch stood by and watched.

It would be no coincidence that some, if not most, of the girls that lack ambition and drive are also the same ones that also go from boyfriend to boyfriend. You know who I’m talkin about: that girl who can’t ever juss be by herself and jumps from rebound to rebound like a WNBA player. “Now tell me that aint insecuuurrr” The concept of a man seems so secure. My question is, if you cant even stand being by yourself for longer than a week, how do you expect for anyone else to stand being with you longterm as well? This is juss not realistic and something in your own head aint right. And I’d advise that you work that out before you get into another relationship.

If you really want to have something of your own, then a man is the last thing you need at the moment. Girls need to get right with themselves before they set their interests in a boyfriend. Lets face it, even my 5 year old niece, as I asked her about her classmates, has said that she “doesn’t like boys, because they’re distracting.” This shit blew my mind. I can’t believe my five year old niece and I have the same boy issues in common. Boys will be boys I guess. But on a positive note, I’m glad  my niece has some brains like her auntie! Shit, her comment says she’s already smarter than 90% of the bitches I see in the club.

Don’t get me wrong, I know some of you aren’t at the level you want to be at yet but are working towards being there eventually. Shit I’m one of them! Because Lord knows I got a diploma, but not enough money to loan ya… yet! Trust me, I sympathize with the hussle. But the hussle is good… it’s healthy…. and it shows you have your own brains. I’m juss tired of listening to beezys that think they have an excuse to be so lazy. Let me tell you, there are no excuses. I have friends that are single young mothers and have managed to buy their own homes and have their own careers. I have friends that have put themselves through college. I have friends that work to save their money in order to one day invest in themselves. All done with little to no help from others.

These are the kind of bitches I keep in close company. Chances are if you’re not up and movin, I’m not messin with you. The last thing I need is your negative energy affecting my daily hussle. I’ve worked really hard to be where I’m at today, and even though I’ve accomplished more than most people, I have but only taken minimal steps towards by final goal. But there’s no doubt in my mind that I will sooner than later achieve it. There’s also no doubt that I’m way happier on my hussle than I would be if someone had me by the balls, but provided for me. My values drive my goals, and obstacles cannot break my focus.

It’s true, it may be easier to chase after ballers instead of taking a risk to pursue your own goals, but that life style is short lived. I’m glad music artists like Drake and Kanye are putting out these positive songs about how sexy it is for a girl to have her own shit. And how unattractive it is to see girls that are just chasing money. It gives me hope that as a society we’re working towards relationships that have more substance, because this is now what a guy will be looking for instead of someone who can juss back that ass up.

So if a little motivation is all you need, then I hope this helped to support your hussle. But if you were offended, then chances are you’re that girl that I’m talking about. You beezys can keep chasing your ballers. I personally have more in common with the team owners.

Mucho Love

Juelzy G.

P.S.

Listen to the words… and don’t play yourselves.

Here I am, New Year’s Eve, in Vegas, at the newest hotel’s grand opening,The Cosmopolitan, at the best event to be at, with comped tickets worth 2gs at that, with one of my bestest friends. We were decked out: hair did, makeup did, dress tight and heels high. Im about to watch my favorite rap artist perform, Jay-Z. Im only like five people away from the stage with champagne in hand. Basically everything was damn near perfect, or as good as I could imagine to ring in 2011. So as I’m waiting for the engineers to fix the stage so its suitable for Jay, this drunk gossip girl looking beezy wants to start shoving everyone, because for some reason she thinks she’s entitled to be closer to the stage. I let this go on for a few seconds until I couldn’t take it anymore and I firmly (to say the lest) let her know she can’t shove me like that. Then this brod starts poppin off at the mouth with the most ignorant remarks that I couldn’t even bare to humor so my first thought was to grab her face real fast like a basketball and shove it into the ground, but I refrained. Ugh! After we exchanged some words I took off my earrings and started praying. It took so much strength and every ounce of patience I had in me not take this girl out. Luckily her friends were eventually smart enough to get her out of my five-foot radius.

Something I am conflicted with on an almost daily basis is the fact that I’m conscious of how to be a good person, but at the same time I aint’ no punk. For people who don’t know what I mean by ‘punk’ it’s basically a coward. Where I’m from the rules are simple and everyone is keen to them: If you’re going to say something then you better be able to back it up. This of course has to do with the respect people show us. So, because I am aware of how to be a good person and because I am also aware that I’m not a punk, I know that what I would like to do is not exactly the right thing to do.

The altercation I mentioned at the beginning has actually been my only experience like it in what feels like a pretty long time. I used to pray for patience then I noticed God kept sending me dumb bitches like the one described above to deal with so I simply stopped praying for it. After all if you pray for something then its going to be presented in your life as a test in order to build your character.

I like who I am and the character I’ve built, because I think overall I am a good person. Or at least I strive to be and there’s no question about people that would vouch for me. But I cant seem to help the fact that I got a little bit of thug in me. I love Los Angeles and the opportunities and experiences it has presented me with, but don’t get it twisted: I know where I’m at is not where I’m from. From what I have noticed, the Bay Area has raised a different breed. Where women have a tougher edge almost as equal as men, because it was a matter of survival in a sense.

Now by no means do I ever go around with a mean mug on my face, because I am actually a very happy girl and there’s simply no need. I also don’t go around looking for confrontations either, because I realize the dangers in the smallest of those. I come from a place where you often here of the smallest incident, such as literally stepping on someone’s shoes, leading to someone in a coma. You just never know, and the risk isn’t worth it to me. That is why I have also learned to pick my battles. It is very rare that something is actually worth fighting for. But, will I give you a piece of my mind? Definitely! And you’ll probably leave thinking what a bitch I am.

“bitch I might be!” and not in the Gucci Mane kind of way.

Bitch is something I am fine with, however don’t think you can EVER call me out of my name with this word. But surely enough, I’m a bitch… a bad one… and striving to be a boss one. “…BITCH must be a Babe (or Boss) In Total Control of Herself.” – Kelly Cutrone.

Like I have previously mentioned, where I’m from this is normal, but because I meet a lot of different people I have noticed it is a part of me that often has to be suppressed. But when a situation arises and ‘the bay’ comes out, I get judged harshly. The majority of people can’t handle it, perhaps because they’re used to  women being passive and submissive.

Some people call it aggressive, I call it strong minded. Some people call it ghetto, I call out-spoken. Some people call it un-classy, I call it miss-understood. However, It’s funny how the same people that call me aggressive and confrontational and all those other names are the first ones to call on me when they have an issue with someone at work or at the club etc. Because the bottom line is I’m a reliable person that knows how to act in a given situation and I’m not afraid to do so. I’m logical and reasonable when it comes to disagreements but I’m also not afraid to admit when I’m wrong.

It is true, sometimes I encounter people that straight up need their ass whooped. And even though I would love to be the one to teach them that lesson, chances are I will not be the one to do it. For the most part I will usually handle myself simply with words, because I know how. I’m smart and I know when people are trying to take advantage of me, this is simply not something I can tolerate.

Ultimately I’m too pretty to fight (yea I said it and you know what I mean: it’s not a classy site). There are only a few things that someone can say or do to me that will be worthy of me risking myself physically and socially. And in this case “I may flow like a butterfly but I sting like a bee.”

On a final note, could you imagine if I would have went bad on that girl that was shoving me on New Year’s Eve?! I would have been carried out by security in front of hundreds of people including dozens of A-list celebrities, it was a black tie event for crying out loud! I would have been arrested, plus she looked like the kind of brod that would press charges. Then I would have spent my night doing the countdown next to a lady named Big Bertha.

Instead I got to watch Jay-Z perform accompanied by Beyonce (also my fav), Kanye West, Memphis Bleek, Cold Play and John Mayer. Then enjoy the rest of my crazy night in Vegas. I think I picked my battle correctly. And there’s no doubt that girl will soon learn her lesson…they always do.

Mucho Love

Juelzy G.

P.S.

This is my own little video I put together from the concert, because I’m obsessed with my iMovie application (I swear I think I’m some kind of editor now). Anyways, I hope you like it.